i have been breathing
in tiny spaces
between all that needs me.
tonight,
i do not want another breath
measured in minutes.
i want the window open.
i want the aliveness
of the night on my skin.
i only allowed myself a sliver
of the pain.
to feel it all might have shattered
the sky above me,
sent it down in shards.
i opened the sieve,
felt the ache flow through me,
a silent trickle at a time…
winced as it deepened,
rushed to turn it off
just in time
before my held breath became two, and evermore.
it’s almost 9 p.m.,
and there is one single bird
singing
like the sun is about to rise,
a song out of place,
or perhaps
right on time
for a world
that has forgotten
how to dream
at night.
i smile
and cheer her on.
keep going,
my love.
be all that i dream
of being.
perhaps
it wasn’t a bird
after all.
perhaps
it was a word
too wild
to sleep,
too brave
to wait
for morning.
what are
the truest words
you have spoken?
the ones
that tasted
like truth
and fear
at the very same time.
did you whisper…
or shout?
i am learning
to see the beauty
even in the sorrows
that bring me
to my knees.
every ounce of pain
plants
wildflowers
in my heart.